Ralph Ivan Lancaster Jr.

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Service Information
Conroy Tully Walker Funeral Homes and Cremation Services
172 State Street
Portland, ME

FALMOUTH - Ralph died peacefully at home with his loving wife by his side. At his request, we share his obituary.

I died on January 22, 2019.

I was born in Bangor, Maine on May 9, 1930, the first child of Mary Katherine (Kelleher) and Ralph Ivan Lancaster, who had married on November 7, 1929. My mother died giving birth to my still-born brother when I was three. I was raised in Bangor by my great aunt and uncle, Bridget (Kelleher) and Charles Milan. They loved me as if I had been their own child, encouraged, and rejoiced in, my every endeavor.

On August 21, 1954, I married Mary Lou Pooler whom I had met in 1944 and loved from that very first meeting. Mary Lou's support and guidance were crucial in every task I undertook and every challenge I met. She was my compass, my guide, my conscience, my partner and my life-long best friend. Our six children, nine grandchildren and four great-grandchildren were the source of great joy, pride, shared love and happiness throughout our married lives. I was fortunate to be invited to join the law firm that is now called Pierce Atwood where I found a second family and work that I loved for over fifty-five years.

I am survived by my wife, Mary Lou, three daughters, three sons, nine grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. In birth order: Mary Miller and her husband Gary; Anne Lancaster; Elizabeth Lancaster and Alan Peoples; their children Wyatt and his fiancée Stephanie, Alana, and Emmett; Christopher Lancaster and his children, Christopher and his son Tobias, Stephen and his wife Dominique, Brianne and Katelynn; John Lancaster and his sons Matthew Lancaster, his partner Casey and their son, Noah; Nicholas Lancaster and his wife, Laura and their sons Benjamin and Grayson; Martin Lancaster and his fiancée Megan, and by my special cousin/brother, Charles H. Milan, III.

I loved life and believed that you should live fully in the moment. I believed that laughter is the leaven of life.

I believed that we should all:

Dance as if no one is looking

Sing as if no one is listening

Love as if we've never been hurt.

I truly cared for people….. all people.

And I wrote this obituary without a list of major professional accomplishments in order to emphasize that material matters pale into insignificance when compared to the love of family and friends.

Please do not send flowers or make contributions in my memory. If you want to do something that would please me, take someone(s) you love out to dinner, tell her/him/them you love her/him/them and say the things we unfortunately wish we had said before she/he/they died. Use the word "love" frequently, laugh a lot ….. and enjoy the moment.

I did.

Visiting Hours celebrating Ralph's remarkable life will be held on Friday, Feb.1 from 3-7 p.m.at the Conroy-Tully Walker Funeral Home, 172 State St., Portland. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Saturday, Feb. 2 at 10 a.m. at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, 307 Congress St., Portland. Interment will be private at Pine Grove Cemetery in the spring. To view Ralph's memorial page or to share an online condolence, please visit www.ConroyTullyWalker.com

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Published in Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram on Jan. 25, 2019
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